I don't even know anymore..

It happened a long time ago..it should be over now but it isn't. It hurts so much and I know I have to let it go. But make my heart understand...he is not for me...never has and never will...he sees me as a good friend and i know he will never think of me in a different way...but this is torturing me. My friends tell me to stop talking to him because it's hurting me but I can't do that. He is a friend and I can't let it go..because he will find out that I did have feelings for him. I deserve better, i can get better this feelings have to stop before i get hurt more. I know that my true love will come..hopefully soon. I don't need this, it's ridiculous...grrr...it makes me mad to feel so sad when he is not worth my love, or my tearss...blah. I know nobody is going to read this, but it helps me vent.... I thank mr. McCormick for this...I have a place to go and vent, haven't used this in a long time..but now i won't stop!!! Life goes on and there are many things i have to look forward too!!! okk..let it goo let it goo! smilee!! classyy!! check! okay!

How much longer?

times keeps going by...i think im over it
but im nott...
why does it have to be like thatt???
ii amm a strongg personn...but whyy...
he is not worthy of my thoughttss..
butt he is still there..
sometimess he is more visible then otherr...
other thingss botherr mee
butt it all come back to himm...all of ittt..
ughh.
soo not fairr..

IDK what to think or do anymore....

i dont want to love you, i dont want to think about u. I dont even want to know
who you are...why can't i forget u? why is it taking soo long to get over you?? i mean...reallyy???? Pleasee ii want to forget about you, do your life, let me do mine.
And one of the things that probably upset me the most is that you probably dont
even remember me anymore...isnt it funny how things are. i gave you everything i had...
and look the way u ended up paying me...by breaking my heart into millions of pieces...
you are happy, everyone is happy....yeah that's everyone....except me...
am i asking for too muchh?? i mean reallyy?? haha...i dont even kno what to think anymore...
God please just help me. Help me overcome this, make me stronger, and give me faith, thats what i need, i need you... pleasee....i can b strong...i know i can!!!

OMGG....NOOOO....

plz tell me its not true..
plz tell me that he isnt getting married
plz tell me she's talking about something else..
plzzzz....i dont want this...
how can this happen..
how can he get married..
whyyy???
plz tell me that i misunderstood everything...
but what if its true...what am i going to doo??
i love him soo muchh...
i gave him soo muchh..
i all hurting me soo muchh..
whyy..plzz babyy tell me whyy..
i want to fucken hatee uuu..
i want to FUCKEN FORGET UU..
I CANT TAKE THISS..
I CANTT DO THIS...
WHYYY....WHY AM I SOOO FKN STUPIDD
WHYY???
I DONT NEED THIS..
I REALLY DONT...
IT SHOULDNT MATTER..
BUT IT MATTERS..AND A LOTT..
UR SUCH AN ASSHOLE..
WHYY...UGHH..SCREW U...AND SCREW ALL THIS.
I DONT FUCKEN NEED U....
UR A NOBODY AND I DESERVE BETTER...
RIGHTT???
UGHH..IM SOO SADD...
BUT I WONT LET IT BRING ME DOWN..
I WONT..I PROMISEE...I'LL TRY...
UGHH....
STUPIDD DICK..
GOOD BYE.

I dOnT g3t It...

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
i had an awesomee blog
and it erasedd
i am soo maddd
i amm lividd
wtfff..ughh...
grrrr...im pissedd off
i am so madd
whyyy...
i finally am able to type exactly what i feel
and it all erases..
whyy???
is it suppose to be that eassy...
just erase it from my head n my heartt>>>
is ittt>>>
why cant anyone answer my questionss..whyyyyy???
ohh Godd...why...i'm hurting so badd...
i need strenghtt...give me strenghtt...

ThIs HaPpEnS wHeN i'M sAd...

I wanna hate you..but i can't
I want to forget u...but ur still in my head..
con cada momento estas mas dentro a mi piel
por mas que lo quiero no lo puedo detener.
pieces is all i have left
porque mi corazon se empieza a disolver.
Why does it have to be so hard?
What will it take him to realize
That everything doesnt have to be so sad.
Lo amo con todo mi corazon
Pero no encuentro el valor para
decircelo...
Baby....why..why..why....is all i can ask
and i'm wasting my time because
an answer i will never have.
Amor...te amo...y no entiendo
como me pudiste mentir diciendome
que me amabas tambien cuando todo era una equivocasion.
I need help. I dont know what to do...
I need to move on...but i'm so scared...i dont know how to..
Me da miedo la soledad
Pero especialmente estar sin ti..amor...que voy a hacer
I just need to talk to you...
and tell you I love you..and good bye...
Espero que lo sepas..aunque no lo pueda decir..
Amor...te amo...i siempre lo are...

I'm $aD...

Baby i miss you so muchh...
why do you have to be like that??
i mean how can u just throw two years away like
this..i mean...wtf...how can you hurt me like
this..how can you just pretend nothing ever happened...
i wish i could do the same thing..but i cant.
i cant forget about u..i want to call you
soo bad..but i know i cant...
i want to hug u soo bad...but your soo far away..
i want to kiss u soo bad...but now its too late..
its time to move on but its soo hardd...why cant
i do it..whyy...i feel soo sad...and sometimes
even depressed...but i dont want to be like this..
i want to move on...and start all over again...