This weekends was totally eventfull. I had to go to a wedding on saturday in the Valley. So my plan was to leave friday and and come back on sunday. But a lot of thing happened that day and well...my aunt wouldnt let me go for manyyy reasonss...and i was reaally really sad. So I was on the messenger friday night, and i was talking to a friend and she told me that she was going to go down to the Valley on saturday and she offered me a ride!!! i wasss sooo totally excitedd!!! so i started getting ready. My aunt came home and i told her i was going to go and she got really mad at me. And then she told me that it was good, that way i could look for a place to leave. So i'm either going to go back to the valley after this semester, or i'm going to have to find a place to leave.
Well that is not what matters...well it does...but i'll talk about that later on...
so i got to the valley saturday afternoon and i went to my friend's house. the wedding started at 4:00 p.m. and i didnt get there until a little after. When i got to Reyna's house she was outside with her husband and with our friend Mayeli and Mayeli's boyfriend. I hadnt talked to them so they didnt know i was going to go.So as soon as they saw me they looked soo surprisedd, Mayeli ran to me and hugged me and was like" Oh my Gosh u made it!!!!"
So i went on and hugged Reyna and Angel. I went inside their house and got ready. I told the whole family hello. Well i was at the wedding and i was really happy and sad at the same time because she was...well already....moved to Utah with her husband.
After the wedding I spent the night at my friend Andrea's house.It was fun.
I got to see lots of my friends during this weekend. I came back until yesterday, monday, which is why i missed school. I couldnt come back before because my friend Suzette gave me a ride back.i dont know...there are so many things i want to say but its like i will take forever to write it down. I am going through soooo many emotions. I dont want to be at my aunts house anymore because i dont feel comfortable and i know that i am not wanted.
But i dont want to go back to the valley because it's like i got defeated and hadd to go back. i have noo clue what to do. This weekend was amazing, but its over now.I have been in my room all morning long because i dont want to bother my uncle with my presence.I dont even want to eat because i feel that i shouldnt eat their food. i dont know. I feel like crying.I wish that i could just leave already.but i have to find a good job, not one that only gives me like two days a week. i have to find a cheap apartment to live. and then i dont want to leave a lone because i'm going to get depressed. I dont know what to do.I wish someone would tell me exactly what to do. i'm tearing apart in my insides. I feel so sad, and depressed. Like its all my fault. That maybe if i hadnt been born everything would be easier for everyone...
I dont know...maybe i should go somewhere far and try to start over again...tears.. :(
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